Reverb 10: Let Go

Prompt: What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

In 2010, I let go of a work schedule that allowed me to be at home for my girls and with my family. I traded it for a job that helps me feel more fulfilled, is expanding my skill set and offers a teeny weeny bit more money. Though there are many, many positives to this new job, spending less time at home and seeing the girls much less has been so, so difficult.

Back when I made the decision, I said this:

Basically, on Monday, I feel like I'm stepping into this grand experiment. I could fail. I could be miserable working the 8 to 5 grind and not seeing my girls as much as I would like.

Or it could work out exactly as I hope it will -- that it will be tough but rewarding, that life will be better when I'm not miserable in my work, the area of my life that zaps so much of time in the first place.

This was a tough decision, and it might not work out, or it might -- but either way, I know I will learn something invaluable, something I'm not yet able to put into words -- about myself, about what's important in life, about where I ultimately want to be.

I think all of it has been absolutely true. I have in the short time I've been here learned a lot about myself and what is most important to me - and definitely more about where I ultimately want to be in my life. And now that I am learning those lessons, there are next steps to take, things to do, and from where I am standing, I am a bit bewildered about what those steps are.

But what I do know is that over time, difficult things become easier to handle. They become routine. Maybe the difficult thing for me to make routine needs to be something that contributes to better for me. I need to make stepping out of my comfort zone become routine. I need to freakin' live there.