Curating Flickr: Solitude

I stole the idea to do a flickr curation from this blogger, whose blog is good, but (warning!) not safe for work. So...I scoured flickr looking for images that struck me in some sort of cohesive way. Today the theme was solitude. Click on any image above and it will take you straight to the user who posted it on flickr.

Reverb 10: Let Go

Prompt: What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

In 2010, I let go of a work schedule that allowed me to be at home for my girls and with my family. I traded it for a job that helps me feel more fulfilled, is expanding my skill set and offers a teeny weeny bit more money. Though there are many, many positives to this new job, spending less time at home and seeing the girls much less has been so, so difficult.

Back when I made the decision, I said this:

Basically, on Monday, I feel like I'm stepping into this grand experiment. I could fail. I could be miserable working the 8 to 5 grind and not seeing my girls as much as I would like.

Or it could work out exactly as I hope it will -- that it will be tough but rewarding, that life will be better when I'm not miserable in my work, the area of my life that zaps so much of time in the first place.

This was a tough decision, and it might not work out, or it might -- but either way, I know I will learn something invaluable, something I'm not yet able to put into words -- about myself, about what's important in life, about where I ultimately want to be.

I think all of it has been absolutely true. I have in the short time I've been here learned a lot about myself and what is most important to me - and definitely more about where I ultimately want to be in my life. And now that I am learning those lessons, there are next steps to take, things to do, and from where I am standing, I am a bit bewildered about what those steps are.

But what I do know is that over time, difficult things become easier to handle. They become routine. Maybe the difficult thing for me to make routine needs to be something that contributes to better for me. I need to make stepping out of my comfort zone become routine. I need to freakin' live there.

Reverb 10: Wonder

Prompt: How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

An easy one. Getting down at my girls' level and trying to see the world the way they do. This year, my oldest daughter brought me a dragonfly, perched on her finger. But she brought me more than that - she brought me that great note of excitement in her voice when she caught it, the spark in her eyes, that pleased smile. She brings me that all the time, how excited she gets about the things that most girls I know of do not - she gets me excited about them, too. The snakes, the lizards, the bugs, climbing trees, digging in the dirt, pretending to be an armadillo.

My youngest daughter inspires wonder every day, with her simple, sweet view on the world, the way she feels so acutely. Even when her eyes are welled with tears for the third time in an hour, and I am gritting my teeth in frustration at her emotional nature, I picture the inner workings of her soul as a ticking machine of the most delicate but sturdy parts, crystalline gears and shining cogs, gossamer strands of nerves accepting and processing everything. Once that tender machine has cranked out the tears, the switch flips to radiant, and oh, it is a thing of wonder.

They are both awesome sources of perpetual wonder.